With Mothering Sunday coming up, we’ll naturally be thinking of what to get Mum on her special day.
Whether you’re still living at home, a university student or forging your way in life, even building your own family nest, there are some low-cost fundamentals you can give your mum. Here are five tips to show mum how special she is, all based around what most of us want – connection – on Mother’s Day and beyond:
- Ask how she is feeling – check in on her frequently and ask ‘how are you feeling, mum?’. Your mum might be a person that doesn’t always want to talk about her inner self, yet given the time and space, she might well appreciate talking a bit more in depth about what is going on for her. Whether she’s in a happy space or feeling a little lost in life.
- Give time and love– it’s said that the two main things children need are our time and our love, and it’s not a bad prescription for mums too. Put time aside to be with her. Whether it is talking on the phone, face time or in person. We may be put off by our own busyness and think ‘I don’t have an hour or two right now to spend on the phone’, but more frequent 15-minute catch ups may be easier to fit in and work better for you.
- Presence rather than presents – if we are thinking of a physical gift, very often we assume it’s a nice card, or a bunch of flowers, or a family meal out. And those may well be something she’d enjoy. But we can fall into the trap of assuming. Asking what would bring her happiness on Mother’s Day or beyond may dig a little deeper to what is most important to her. It might be that some undivided, quality time with you is what she is most wanting.
- Sharing and caring – mums usually love to know what’s going on in their children’s lives, but how much do you share? Should you be telling her the ins and outs of your life, work, relationships, deepest thoughts, or should you keep it simple? If you’re unsure, then perhaps it is worth a conversation between the two of you to establish what she’d like to know and what you feel comfortable sharing, and maybe that works the other way round too with what you’d like to know from her!
- Truthfulness – when things don’t quite work out and you have a disagreement or a falling out, aim to re-establish connection as soon as possible. Difficult as the situation might be, honesty about how it impacted you is far better than covering it up to save hurting her feelings. And that works two ways too – active listening is needed to hear what she also has to say about the situation, so that you can come to a better understanding and agreement.
So when you’re selecting a Mother’s Day card and gift this year, take a brief moment to consider what deeper things might be needed to establish connection and give your mum what she most wants.
Our series of courses teach you a simple 4-step method towards creating deeper connection with your family, friends and work colleagues. Find them here https://foryou.commpassion.co.uk/
Penny Newton-Hurley
Stroud-based communications expert Penny Newton-Hurley is launching four online courses designed to support people across the community in navigating difficult conversations with work colleagues, family members, partners, teens, and toddlers.
Penny trained under renowned American psychologist, Marshall Rosenberg in the art of nonviolent communication, a process for supporting partnership and resolving conflict within people, relationships, and society.
A well-known figure in the Stroud community, Penny has worked with leading organisations including the Cabinet Office, Lloyds Bank, and the Ministry of Defence.
She lives in Stroud with her husband Gareth and their two children, Hermione and Sebastian. Outside of her work, she enjoys flying planes, attending military style fitness boot camps, participating in local theatre productions, and volunteering as a prison listener.
