Unlike the Jane Austen classic, both pride and prejudice exist simultaneously in our communities, affecting all societal demographics. Thankfully what’s shared between the novel and the world today, despite the current rhetoric, is that love wins.
It’s an interesting time to be alive. I’m 41 years old and I grew up ashamed of my sexuality, thanks to leftover hate spread decades before. I feared that those I loved might judge me for the way I was born and the person I was. As a young adult, I needed to spend time away to understand myself without the judgement I feared, a judgement that never came. Instead, I was loved and listened to and understood – I felt lucky, and my natural confidence grew, as did my world, both metaphorically and physically.
I’ve lived around the globe, and travelled to some incredible places; late in 2023 I came back permanently to the south west to help take care of my dying mother, and soon after sister. After my sister died I told my husband Jeremy that we’d fulfilled the promise we gave to mum and we could leave back to the US where we met and lived for almost a decade. Jeremy loved it here, despite the weather, he was enjoying the new chapter of life we started. We felt comfortable and safe and loved, and bought a house in Wotton-under-Edge, where we’d opened a restaurant together that, despite the personal challenges facing us, was doing really well.
Wotton Pride happened this past weekend, on 12th and 13th of June. In its third year, Jeremy and I have always played a role in the event, hosting a drag queen bingo brunch all three years, and this year adding a big kids area, “Kidstown”, at our second business in the town, a family pub that we opened last year. Wotton Pride was everything it promised to be; bigger and better than before, and it was noticeably better organised than a lot of events that take place. Thousands of smiling, happy, colourful people joined the parade, likely outnumbering the some 6,000 residents, and the event was a huge success. From the opening party, parade, sell-out events, piano bar and Pride church service, this event hit every note. Despite this, the anxiety I felt in the lead up to this weekend was something I hadn’t expected.
With a third business on the way, I attributed my unease to all the busyness and flux that surrounded me, but I came to realise this wasn’t the case. This year, the United Nations released a report on minorities’ issues, discovering more than 70 per cent of those targeted by hate on social media are minorities. Now we all know keyboard warriors span every inch of the internet, however an analysis by the Digital Youth Index found that 58 per cent of LGBTQ+ youth experience hate speech online, compared to 37 per cent of young people overall. In fact, the very publication I’m writing for has turned off comments on Pride-related articles, stating ‘Respectful discussion and differing viewpoints are welcome; hate, abuse and discrimination are not… the comments posted have been beyond vile and fall far below the standards we expect in our community.’
This year feels different from the years that shaped me; the years where my juvenile fear subsided and it felt like love was all that mattered. My anxiety grew so much in the past few weeks that I shared it with my local police contact. I apologised for my lack of “hard evidence” but shared my concerns, as well as less positive reactions to some of my posts online, which he requested screenshots of to share with the wider force. I was incredibly impressed by our local force’s response, as well as how our Pride event turned out. I was overjoyed at the event’s success, but my feeling of unease has not fully ceased: my guard is permanently up again for the first time in more than a decade. What I learned on that call was that an anti-Pride march was discussed online to take place at Thornbury Pride, a nearby town that hosted its celebration the weekend prior. Whilst some chat about it took place online, nothing happened and the visitors and residents of Thornbury had a wonderful day.
Love is winning. Despite the small-minded folk who spread hate and fear online, those who come together are providing the antidote. This weekend in Brighton, a small group of small minds attempted an anti-immigration march, with UKIP leaders providing hateful speech. The march couldn’t happen because Fatboy Slim showed up, along with thousands of counter protestors, who started a brilliant party and showed hate the door. The racists tried to encourage violence which resulted in five arrests, but on the whole, everyone had a lovely time. Further afield in Washington DC, President Trump held a UFC match to celebrate his 80th and America’s 250th birthdays. Trump promised celebrity performances, yet every artist turned down the offer to perform, not wanting to be associated with his crashing administration.
Ahead of Wotton Pride, unpleasant comments were posted online, including: “What has my wotton under edge become?” This question sparked only results full of love, including: “A wonderful, inclusive, friendly town”, “Better, stronger and even more community spirited and welcoming to everyone” and “A community helping to change mindsets, shifting unconscious bias & removing prejudices to provide psychological safety for others to be their authentic self.” It’s hard to tell the difference between bots and people, between AI and humans, but whatever the cause of provocation is, when it is met with love it cannot win. Don’t rise and take the bait, don’t lower yourself to meet them where they are. Stay calm, breathe and if you need to respond, do so with kindness and education. The irony is, in the case of Pride or Black History Month or other annual minority-focused events, the people who spread hate online only shine a light on the fact that the event is still needed. Helping those small minds understand that fact may make them think twice before posting something hateful online.
With that said, the Editor of Stroud Times and I decided to keep comments on for this article. I welcome your hate, however comments from bots or anonymous profiles will be deleted. I look forward to educating you on why you are a reason that the marginalised must ensure their stories are heard. The progress I’ve seen in my lifetime cannot be undone and I have so much faith in our future generations that even if the path we’re on continues for a decade, those who will soon be in power will fight for acceptance. But I don’t think it will come to that. Wotton Pride is an example of what happens when the haters are ignored. Racists, sexists, homophobes and bigots, we see you. But we are community, not you. We are love.
Fred Hulls, Wotton-under-Edge
